By Selina, 28 Nov 2016.
Licensed via Pixabay/Creative Commons.
There is an unexplainable joy I have found in reading through manuscripts and seeing each one’s potential to become something great. Unfortunately, though, I’ve also spent time perusing through manuscripts and discovering that perhaps, there is a lack of potential. These moments are the ones that bring to surface the greatest challenges of being a literary agency intern. I wanted to share these challenges with you all.
I’ve Got the Whole World in my Hands
Okay, maybe not the whole world. But I do often have someone else’s world – all of their aspirations – at the forefront of the decision I make. Authors want to be published, and they let you know it. Each manuscript they send you comes along with an introduction to the author, and you develop a personal sense of who they are. Then, you do more research into their previous work, and you end up adding a face to the story. This, of course, becomes a challenge if you read their manuscript, and it’s not good enough.
As much as I try to separate myself from the author, it can be difficult. Every time I reject a manuscript, or I have to send the author an email letting them know that we don’t believe their manuscript is “right” for us, I feel an enormous amount of guilt. I don’t handle rejection well myself, so I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for a writer. In the end, though, it’s impossible to publish every book manuscript in the world. Though it's hard, I’m trying to keep this in mind as I continue my internship.
Credit to Ben White; Licensed via StockSnap.io/Creative Commons
When in Doubt…
At this internship, I’ve come to realize that I doubt myself all the time. For each decision I make, I spend an embarrassing amount of time afterwards wondering if I made the right one. I constantly face the same questions: What if I’m not making the right choice in rejecting this manuscript? What if this book becomes a best-seller? What if I let the agency down?
These what-ifs make me worry, and contribute to the guilt I already have for turning down a manuscript. Doubt is troubling, especially because it forces me into a state where I think more about the potential of the previous manuscripts that I have looked at, rather than concentrating on doing my best with the new manuscripts that are coming in. There is an enormous amount of pressure in deciding the future of a manuscript, and I often feel as though I’m not smart enough or qualified enough to know what to do. But sometimes, as my internship advisor has told me, I just have to learn to go with my gut. I’m slowly accepting this idea that my opinion at the agency actually matters. Each agent makes mistakes, and if they should happen, I am allowed to make some mistakes too.
Credit to Sean MacEntee, Licensed via Flickr/Creative Commons.
There’s Always Some Room for Improvement
Tying into my “doubt” problem, perhaps one of the most frustrating things about interning at a literary agency is that you can never tell exactly how you’re doing. There is nothing to measure your progress against, and the only way you can really improve is by reading more manuscripts. No matter how long you possibly do it, in the end, there really is no way for you to tell if you’re making the right decision. Though much of an agent’s work is based off of previous experiences and knowledge of the industry, there’s a lot of trusting your senses about each piece of writing that comes in. Learning to navigate myself in a field like this has been difficult, but it is also a wonderful asset to have in the real world.
Credit to Patrick Tomasso; Licensed via StockSnap.io/Creative Commons.
To any future literary agency interns, and other interns in general, please note that while these challenges are probably not just my own, they are only small problems in a much larger learning process. An internship does not just hold doubt, confusion, and guilt; rather, internships are exciting, intellectual, and dynamic. By working towards overcoming these challenges, you are able to learn about the field, build new skills, and even discover new things about yourself!
For some tips on dealing with doubt in the workplace, check out Christine M. Riordan's "Seven Steps to Conquering Self-Doubt".
To read about other internship challenges and on how to succeed in spite of them, check out The Balance's internship section.